Although growth is inevitable, there are times that we live in denial in terms of aging. We still want to believe we are young and our ‘baby’ habits will fall off naturally at some point despite celebrating birthdays year after year.
It doesn’t happen that way. You have to take up the initiative to drop these habits before you hit 25 years:
- How many friends you have or not have.
Lame! You cannot be worrying about the number of friends you have as a teenager and still have the same worries in your mid-twenties!! That is stagnation. At this age, you should be worrying about who is adding value to your life and who isn’t. - Assuming that if it’s not easy 24/7, it isn’t meant to be
Even if you’re in the relationship of your dreams, you’re going to hit bumps in the road! - Ruling out potential partners for non-reasons.
It’s great to know exactly what you want, but not so great when you pass up anyone who doesn’t meet a 100-point list of requirements before even getting to the first date. - Crafting ways to “test” the relationship or your new partner.
Trust, life’s ups and downs will test your bond all on its own. - Emulating Carrie Bradshaw’s love life.
Her relationship journey is LIES, ALL LIES. - Refusing to make the first move.
“Oops, missed out on dating the love of my life cause I was too scared to tell them I was super into them. It’s cool tho, at least I didn’t have to be vulnerable.” - Holding a relationship to rigid timelines.
Unless life has put some kind of literal time constraint over your heads, “proposal deadlines” get depressing really fast. - Not asking for what you really want.
Both in bed and in life! - Saying “sorry” for every single little thing, even when someone steps on your toes.
- Shaming people for their kinks.
Just because a hook-up’s favorite move isn’t your personal cup of tea doesn’t mean you have to make them feel embarrassed about it. (And of course, you should never consent to anything you don’t want to do.) As long as their kink isn’t hurting anyone, all you have to do is go your separate ways with a simple “no thanks, not my thing.” - Expecting a partner to full-on worship you with zero reciprocation.
I think somewhere along the line we start to confuse “refusing to settle” with “refusing to put up with anyone who isn’t absolutely obsessed with us without question,” and that just never ends well. - Using your parents’ relationship as a model for your own.
For one thing, since when do we really know how our parents treat each other when we’re not around? - Excusing a partner’s unacceptable behavior because you don’t want to break up.
“Maybe tomorrow, she’ll finally start looking for a job and stop asking me to support her while she spends all day sitting on the couch and claiming she’s actually trying to launch her dream of singing in an avant-garde tambourine band. I can’t give up on her yet!” We’ve all done it at some point, but have any of us not regretted it? - Waiting a prescribed amount of hours or days before texting them back.
Life’s too short (and people totally see through it)! - And worst of all, pretending to be a person you’re not to keep a date’s interest.
So. Draining. - Not saying, “I love you” when you desperately want to say it.
It’s time to figure out what’s stopping you and learn to move passed that. - Feeling bad for not wanting to do something.
At this stage you realize it is purely about you and your life. If you do not want to do something just don’t do it. And you shouldn’t feel bad or apologetic about not doing things that you feel you shouldn’t. - Feeling inadequate.
We all have felt as if we aren’t good enough at some point in our lives. It is normal but not when you are 25 or above. Just learn to accept the things you cannot change and more on. You cannot afford to focus on your inadequacy at this age. It is the age to focus on your strengths. While these aren’t all the little things that hold back maturity, they surely are on top of the list. Working on them is ultimate progress. - Stop running away from change just because it’s your gut reaction to every twist and turn that you experience in life.
Instead of declining invitations, try accepting more invitations than you decline. If you have spent a lot of your early 20s declining invitations because you thought they weren’t genuine, worried the event wouldn’t be any fun, or feared you’d have nothing to talk about over drinks with a new friend/coworker/date, start combatting that slowly but surely. Say “yes” just a little more. - Avoiding eye contact with people when you are uncomfortable.
As you approach your 25th year, give your fingernails a break, stop picking at them, and actually look at the person you’re talking to, even when it scares you. - Rewarding yourself for doing 10 minutes of work with a three-minute Instagram break. Try to quit your apps and stay off them for the entire day at least once a week. You will be amazed by how much your productivity increases.
- Eating too quickly. Trust me, if you’re the one who is always done with their food eight minutes before anyone else touches their chicken, you need to slow down. Eating slower is better for your health and digestion, and it makes it a hell of a lot easier to carry on a dinner conversation if you’re eating at a normal pace.
- Forgetting about your family members’ birthdays.
It’s time to rise above that and put those dates in your calendar. - Not telling your boss when you’re feeling overworked.
Being a team player, doing more than is asked, and going above and beyond is all very necessary. However, you can’t be of value to your team if you’re about to burn out because you’re way over stressed but aren’t telling anyone. - Forgetting to take your makeup off before bed.
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