When I am not out trying to get the attention of boys, you will catch me in jeans and T-shirts with bushy eyebrows and messy hair.
How it all started
I had an interesting debate with a friend of mine; let’s call her Lucy, about dating and how we should present ourselves to potential partners. It all started when a mutual friend informed us she was considering getting acrylic nails for the first time in her life so that she could look nice on her first date with a guy she really likes.
Lucy matter-of-factly told her that she was being fake for wanting to get the acrylic nails just to impress her date because it is not something she normally does and she would most likely not do it again. Lucy was of the opinion that you should only present the ‘real you’ on a first date because anything else is deceitful and you can only keep up appearances for so long. For example, if you don’t normally wear makeup in your day-to-day life, then you shouldn’t wear makeup when going out on a date because you would be giving your date the wrong impression.
So, should you sell yourself by positioning yourself in the best light, or should you just be your ‘true self’ when going out on a first date? Most importantly, are we being ‘fake’ when we present only our best selves to a potential boyfriend? Lucy said she prefers first dates in casual, laid-back settings like coffee shops because there, she is free to wear her normal, everyday outfits of jeans and converse shoes without worrying about looking out of place. I beg to differ with her opinions.
How to present yourself to potential partners
First of all, I don’t believe that the best version of someone is necessarily fake. There is nothing wrong with trying to look extra nice when you are meeting a man for the first time. We all go to great lengths to look perfect on a first date or when we are going out to a social setting with the hopes of meeting a potential partner.
Personally, I strive to look flawless when I first meet a man I am hoping to date. I usually suggest dinner as a first date, because it gives me the opportunity to really deck out. I always buy a new outfit specially for the date; usually something slinky and elegant that accentuates my best features. I also slip on my trendiest stilettos. Then I ensure my make up is painstakingly done, my nails perfectly manicured and my hair coiffured to perfection.
When I am not out trying to get the attention of boys, you will catch me in jeans and T-shirts with bushy eyebrows and messy hair. I dress down most of the time and don’t bother to put on makeup. In light of this, do I consider the glamorous side of me fake? Absolutely not! I consider dating to be a lot like marketing and it requires a bit of salesmanship.
When you go out on a date, apart from striving to look your absolute best, you have to talk yourself up a little bit. During the conversation, you focus on the areas of your life that are going well like your flourishing career or your exciting travels abroad.
Talking yourself up and packaging yourself nicely is not lying and sorry to say, but there is nothing honorable about being basic. If you want to get and keep the attention of a man, you need to stand out from the crowd. You don’t stand out from the crowd by showing up for a date in jeans and a T-shirt just so you can feel like you are being your ‘true self’.
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